I’m Bipolar, the shame of admitting this has finally been put to rest with the progress, albeit still slow progress, in mental health. The highs are amazing! Creativity abounds, energy is high, finding it easy to cook, select clothes to wear, write my blog, ride horses, daily exercise, just wonderful 😍;
this lasts for about six months. Then gradually we go into the low cycle and that lasts for the other six months. Medication has helped improve the sleep patterns, which my psychiatrist constantly emphasised was soooo important. He was a wonderful doctor with a lovely kind, caring manner, something you don’t often see in the medical fraternity, guess it’s because they are so focused on the ‘business’ side of things and making large profits from their clients, (or victims!)
I remember doing a line graph over a 12 month period using XCEL. I took this to one of my country psychiatristry sessions and he said none of his patients had ever done this before. I thought it was interesting, and I still do, how the brain functions when you are bipolar over a 12 month period. So, with blog writing I’ve gotta make the most of it during this six month high because when I do have my lows it’s like being a turtle going into your shell or a bear in hibernation.
I was first diagnosed with bipolar in 2009. I was on an incredible (out of control) high. The psychiatric assessment meant little to me as I believed I was normal. To be rated under the mental health program was shameful and inadmissible to my way of thinking back then. Thankfully, mental health is slowly progressing and most of us, I believe, fall under some category of the alphabet. Some poor buggers are every 26 letters of the alphabet!
My husband has not been diagnosed, but since my youngest daughter has become a qualified nurse, she has assessed him as being on the autistic spectrum. She herself is ADHD, obsessive compulsive and though it hasn’t been assessed, I believe she shows some Bipolar as well. My firstborn, twins, haven’t been assessed. I believe the youngest twin, Beth, is on the autistic spectrum and high functioning.
Reflecting back over my childhood, I think my mother could have been Bipolar. She had highs and terrible lows. She suffered a lot of depression, especially during menopause. I believe menopause is a trigger for a lot of mental health issues!
So right now, I’m quite content (and finally accepting the fact), that I am Bipolar. It is being managed well with medication. I watch my diet, exercise regularly and live in a very positive environment. I meditate daily, which helps to keep me calm, peaceful and focused.
The road to acceptance was very rocky and I had to pass through the mental stages of DABDA; denial, anger, bargaining, depression and finally acceptance. Elizabeth Kubler Ross defined this for the stages of grief when someone close to you dies, however, I think it’s applicable for emotional life struggles that can happen during your life. What do you think?
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